Chasing Dreams
by sheshemarie
Summary: Sequel to Occupational Paradise. Catherine and Lou continue on their journey through life.
1. Chapter 1

**So here it is the sequel to Occupational Paradise : ) **

Not sure of how to take his reaction to her news Catherine looked down at the floor.

"I'm pregnant," she mumbled, not daring to look up she stared at a spot on the floor trying to keep herself together. His initial reaction hadn't given anything away apart from shock and she was worried he would take it badly, she didn't know how he felt about having children at their age. Its not like they were in their twenties just starting out in their lives, no they were both a lot older and had steady careers, still early on in a relationship. Would a baby be too much for him to handle, would he bail.

Lou stood silently for a few seconds before he reached out and cupped Catherine's chin in his hand, he gently tilted her face up and kissed her softly, smiling into the kiss Catherine lifted her arms up and draped them over his shoulders. They remained that way, lips gently brushing for a couple of minutes before Lou pulled back and took her hand.

"Are you sure? I mean I thought we couldn't." He looked totally confused at the whole situation, last he had heard Catherine was going to the doctors to have it confirmed she was going through the menopause now he was being told he was going to be a father.

Pulling back slightly Catherine looked into his eyes and nodded.

"They ran some tests to see whether it was what we thought but the pregnancy test they did as a routine came back positive, I didn't believe them at first so I took my own test at home. We're having a baby Lou." Catherine smiled slightly in the hopes that he would see how happy she was about it and be happy himself.

Suddenly she found herself scooped up into his arms in a gentle but powerful hug, she could tell from the way he was holding her he was being careful about hurting the baby.

"I'm going to be a daddy," he whispered in her ear, his voice held excitement with a hint of nervousness.

Catherine kissed his cheek as he let her back down again, she watched as he sat in the chair next to hers.

"I'm going to be a daddy," he mumbled, his eyes slightly wide.

Sitting down next to him she rested a hand on his leg.

"Are you okay?"

Looking up he smiled broadly and lifted her hand to his face to kiss it.

"I'm brilliant," he beamed. "I can't believe it, our baby is in there," he whispered as his hand moved to her still flat tummy.

Smiling she put her hand over his, holding it close to her tummy. They sat that way for quite a few minutes until Lou looked up.

"How far along are you?"

"Roughly two months, it must of happened before Christmas."

They spent the next few minutes just talking about the baby, the noise from the crowd was drowned out, they were in their own little bubble of happiness. Lou's hand was still on her stomach when Catherine remembered where they were.

"Lou, the game."

"Huh?" he was running his hand across her belly, his eyes watching the movement. Catherine let out a giggle as he hit a ticklish spot and batted his hand away causing him to pout.

"Watch the rest of the game, you can play all you want when we get home," she laughed and kissed his pout away.

So Lou's attention was brought back to the game, he stood once again as Catherine remained seated and watched with the biggest grin on his face. Every now and again he would look back at Catherine and his smile would get even bigger.

Leaning back in her chair she rested her hand on her stomach and smiled.

'_Things are going to be good, he's happy we're having a baby.'_

Looking back again he saw Catherine lost in thought and stroking her stomach. He was happy, very happy.

The rest of the game went by quickly, he watched but his mind was constantly thinking about the little life growing inside of Catherine, he was making plans for their future. Once the game was finished he quickly led Catherine out of the stadium, careful to make sure no one bumped into her and got her in the car. They drove home in silence, Lou had gotten very quite and Catherine was worried that now the shock and excitement had worn off he was starting to doubt so as soon as they walked into the house she broached the subject of what was up.

"What if I'm rubbish at it?" He asked, obviously scared about screwing up.

"What do you mean, you've done it before."

"That's the thing Catherine, I haven't." He sighed and dropped into the armchair. "Jakes mom left before she told me she was pregnant, I didn't find out I had a son until he was two years old and she needed child support when she called me I demanded a paternity test, she slept around and I wasn't sure he was mine but it came back positive so all this pregnancy and baby stuff is new to me."

Catherine's mouth fell open and her eyes filled with tears at the thought of anyone doing that to the man she loved, settling herself carefully in his lap she kissed him deeply.

"We'll do it all together, the pregnancy stuff as you put it we will just take it one day at a time and after the baby comes I can show you what to do. You'll be a great daddy, you're so good with Lind's." She smiled at him.

Lou breathed deeply and nodded, then suddenly his face dropped again and he looked extremely worried.

"Last night," he gasped.

"What about it?"

"What if I hurt the baby?"

If he didn't look so worried she would of laughed, instead she bit her lip and calmly explained that having sex would do no harm to their unborn child as long as it wasn't too rough.

"But as I get bigger it will become uncomfortable for me so we'll have to find other ways or positions," she explained to him as he just nodded, trying to take in everything she was saying.

They sat in the armchair together for most of the day, Lou's hand was firmly planted on her stomach as he whispered to the baby how much he loved it already. Catherine tried to explain that the baby was too little to hear him yet but he just shushed her.

"I don't care, I want to talk to my baby." Smiling Catherine leant her head on his shoulder and listened to him explain to their child all the things he wanted to do with him or her.

**Okay there you go folks : )**

**Let me know what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Now I know I have been seriously lacking on the updates but I have very good excuses for that. Firstly I got married, then I had a baby : ) and my laptop broke at around the same time : ( so I have stolen my nephews laptop for a couple of hours.**

Lou woke up early one morning and rolled over in bed to cuddle up to his pregnant girlfriend only to find the space next to him empty. He opened his eyes and looked at the empty spot next to him that Catherine normally occupied.

'_Where is she? She's never normally up at this time.'_

Lou kicked the covers off and started to climb out of bed when he heard someone being sick in their en-suite.

'_Oh my poor baby.'_

Walking to the closed door he knocked once and walked in seeing Catherine crouched on the floor in front of the toilet looking like death warmed up, he'd never tell her that though her moods had been a little unpredictable since she had gotten pregnant.

"Catherine?" he asked as he walked over.

She lifted her head and tried to smile at him but was overcome with another sudden wave of sickness and threw her head back over the toilet. Lou hated seeing her like this, as far as he knew she hadn't been suffering any morning sickness.

"Baby how long have you been here?" he asked as he sat next to her and rubbed her back whilst holding her hair back with his other hand.

She lifted her head again and wiped her mouth before taking a sip of the water she had gotten for herself.

"Not long," she sounded rough "doesn't normally happen in mornings and it's never been this bad." She groaned resting her head on his shoulder.

Lou felt bad for not knowing she had been suffering in silence.

"I wish I could take it away from you baby."

Catherine smiled sleepily at him.

"It's all worth it though." She said happily as she placed her hand on her still flat stomach.

At almost two and a half months pregnant she still wasn't showing and they hadn't told anyone about the baby just in case anything happened, they wanted to wait until she was at least three months before sharing their wonderful news.

Ever since the day Catherine had told him she was pregnant he had doted on her even more than usual. He would visit her in her office to make sure she rested and put her feet up, he had even been out and brought a load of baby books and would read them in bed before going to sleep. But he hadn't touched her in any kind of intimate way since she had told him and it was driving her nuts, not that she wanted sex she just needed to know he still had those feelings towards her especially now she was pregnant and feeling like crap.

When she had finished being sick and had cleaned herself up Lou carried her back to bed and lay her down to get some more rest before they had to go to work. Once Lou had climbed into bed next to her Catherine rolled onto her side and looked at him sadly.

"Don't you fancy me anymore?"

Lou almost laughed at her words, to him she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Even more now she was carrying their child.

"Why would you think such a thing?" he asked glancing at her.

"You haven't touched me at all since I told you I was pregnant," she said trying not to cry "obviously you think I look like shit and don't want to make love to me anymore."

Lou rolled his eyes and actually did laugh this time, when Catherine got out of bed and stormed to the door he realised laughing was a bad mistake with the way her hormones have been.

"You're an ass Lou!" she yelled and slammed the door behind her.

Sighing Lou climbed out of bed knowing she would have gone to the spare room to sleep. Finding the door locked he knocked to try and get her to let him in.

"Go to hell!" she yelled, knowing she wouldn't listen to reason when she was in a mood like this he went back to bed and lay down for yet another sleepless day worrying about her.

Later when they had both gone to work Catherine was still in a awful mood with him and had even gone as far as to take her own car instead of sharing like they normally would but about three hours into her shift Catherine had started to feel guilty about the way she had reacted.

'_God I'm such a bitch, he's only trying to be a good guy. He loves you and your baby. As soon as I get the time I'm going to go and apologise and make it up to him.'_

However she didn't find the time to go and see him until the end of shift, walking though the station towards his office she ran scenarios through her head of how she could make it up to him. Getting to his door she was about to knock when she heard Lou laughing on the other side.

"I know Lisa...yeah I'll be there but Cath can't find out...you know why...yeah I'll see you later...bye."

Catherine felt her eyes fill with tears as she heard him talking to this Lisa girl on the phone.

'_He's having an affair! I knew he didn't want me. After all I have given him, told him and he turns out like all the rest. Well screw him!'_

Catherine turned on her heel and stormed down the corridors with tears streaming out of her eyes and down her cheeks; she didn't bother wiping them away she just let them fall.

Lou returned home an hour later to find all his clothes thrown out onto the yard.

"What the hell?"

Walking up to the front door he tried to open it but she had put the chain on and he couldn't get in.

"Catherine!" he shouted through the gap in the door "Let me in."

Catherine appeared at the door with an emotionless mask on her face covering the hurt she really felt.

'_I won't let another man see what he has done to me_.'

"I want you off of my yard right now before I phone Brass and have him escort you off."

"Cath, baby..."

"Don't call me baby, you've lost that right!" she snapped.

Lou was thoroughly confused, he didn't have a clue what he could have done to piss her off so bad she would kick him out of the house.

"I said get off my yard." She warned holding up her phone ready to call Jim.

Lou tried not to cry as she looked at him with a look of hatred on her face.

"Catherine, don't do this. Think about our baby." Catherine scoffed.

"Like you thought about it when you..." she couldn't finish her sentence as the tears started to fall again. "Just go Lou, I never want to see you again."

She slammed the door and slumped against it and sobbed her heart out with her hand on her stomach holding the baby they had been so happy about.

**Okay, I know I'm mean but the next update won't take as long and if it does I give you permission to kick my ass. That's if Sharon and Honor don't do it first lol**


	3. Chapter 3

**Since Jen threatened me with her ninja skills I thought it best to get straight back to work, so here we go.**

Lou had stayed outside Catherine's door for a long time trying to convince her to open up and let him but no amount of begging and apologising had done the trick. The door had stayed firmly closed and eventually when it had started to rain he had admitted defeat and gone to find somewhere to stay. That is how he ended up sat in some crappy motel room with only the roaches for company.

Two weeks ago Catherine had kicked him out for reasons unknown to him claiming she never wanted to see him again, which is exactly what had happened. He had hoped to see her at work and talk things through but when he got to work the night after the incident she hadn't been there and when he had asked Nick about it he had told him that she had phoned earlier with some family emergency and was taking some time off.

So here he was sat in this chair looking at the photo he kept in his wallet of Catherine and Lindsey remembering what he had lost, he hadn't shaved in days and only showered because Jake had made him when he was in. He hadn't wanted to move, he had wanted to stay in this chair and mourn his loss in peace but life kept jumping up and hitting him.

"Dad, you have got to stop sulking. Why don't you go and see her, try and sort whatever this stupid fight was about out." Jake sat on one of the single beds and pulled out his sketch pad.

Lou folded his arms and put the photo away.

"No, its over she doesn't want to see me again."

"For god sake dad!" Jake jumped up and threw his sketch pad on the bed. "I'm going out and when I get back I want you to be looking like my dad again not some zombie."

Lou sighed and jumped slightly as Jake stormed out of the door slamming it behind him. He was taking it hard, he had liked Catherine but he needed to stay strong for his dads sake. Walking to the mall he was hoping cruising for chicks would cheer him up, he wasn't expecting to hear a girly scream as soon as he entered.

"Jake!" turning around he saw Lindsey stood next to Catherine who was looking at the floor shuffling her feet.

"Mommy, can we go see Jake." Catherine raised her head and looked at her daughter before glancing at Jake.

"I don't know sweetie, we need to get home." Catherine said glumly.

"Oh please mommy, I miss him." Lindsey said but didn't wait for a reply and rushed over to Jake jumping into his arms and hugging him tight. "When are you and Lou coming home Jake?"

Jake hugged the confused little girl back and looked at Catherine who had slowly made her way over to the pair.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Hi," he responded taking in her appearance. She had her hand placed over her stomach which looked a little rounder than when he had last seen her, she was pale. Almost looking as bad as his dad, he had a feeling that if she didn't have Lindsey she would look just as bad.

"So...erm...how's the baby?" he looked at her stomach.

"He told you?" she looked up at him with wide eyes, Jake nodded.

"He told me one night when we were talking, he misses you Catherine."

Catherine turned her head back down and took deep breaths to keep her emotions in check.

"You should see him, he's a mess. It's like he's lost all interest in living since you guys split up. He loves y..." Catherine held her hand up to silence him.

"Don't say that, he doesn't love me."

"Yeah he does, he sits staring at your photo all the time."

Catherine turned to Lindsey and took her out of Jakes arms.

"Catherine don't push him out of his child's life like my mom did." Jake pleaded.

Catherine spun around with fury in her eyes.

"Don't put that on me! He wasn't thinking about his child or me for that matter when he was off having an affair!"

Jakes eyes widened, his dad hadn't told him what had caused the break up but if what Catherine was saying was true his dad was lucky she hadn't cut his manhood off before kicking him to the kerb.

"I didn't know that Catherine, I'm sorry." He pulled the woman he had hoped would one day become his stepmom into a hug and held her as she tried not to cry.

"Its not your fault Jake." She pulled back and wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry but I've really got to get going, do you need a lift anywhere?"

Jake quickly looked around the mall before turning to Catherine.

"Yeah, you can take me back to the motel. Dads got some talking to do."

Catherine nodded and drove him back to the mall on the condition that she was not going to see Lou but all that changed when she pulled up outside and Lou came out wearing a t shirt and jogging bottoms.

"Jake, I can't stay here." Catherine said as she turned the car around to drive off as soon as Jake had got out.

Lou looked up hearing a car engine and recognised the vehicle immediately.

"Catherine!" he shouted as he started to run towards the vehicle that was driving away.

Jake caught his arm and pulled him back.

"Dad, don't." Lou turned to argue back but the look in Jakes eyes stopped him. "We need to talk, you've got some explaining to do."

Taking him into the motel room Jake quizzed him about what Catherine had told him.

"She thinks I'm having an affair." Lou was shocked.

"So you're not?" Jake asked.

"No I'm bloody not! I would never dream of doing that top Catherine, I love her with all my heart."

"So who's Lisa then?" Catherine had told him on the ride over about the call she had heard and even he had to admit it sounded as if his dad had been playing away.

Lou laughed "She thinks I'm seeing Lisa?"

Not waiting for Jake to answer he picked his jacket up and went out the door "I've got some explaining to do to Catherine." He called over his shoulder and left.

Catherine was laid in her bed, curled up under the covers crying. Seeing Lou again had caused her heart to brake all over again. Lindsey was sat on the couch watching cartoons when the doorbell rang and normally she wasn't allowed to answer the door to anyone unless her mom was there but this person just kept pressing the bell so nervously Lindsey went to the door and peeked out the window next to it to see who it was.

Seeing Lou on the other side Lindsey threw the door open and chucked herself into his arms holding him tight.

"Hey Lindsey sweetie, where's your mom?" Lindsey pointed at the stairs.

He put Lindsey down and instructed her to get her coat on and went upstairs to Catherine's room, he didn't bother to knock just walked straight inside and over to the bed where he could hear Catherine sobbing.

"Cath?" he said quietly as he sat on the edge of the bed next to the Catherine sized lump under the covers.

Catherine shot out from under the covers and out of bed, standing in her baggy pyjama bottoms and tank top she crossed her arms.

"Get out!" she snarled at him.

"Wait, just listen to me." He stood up and held his hands up. "I wasn't cheating."

Catherine opened her mouth to tell him what she had heard.

"I know you heard me on the phone to Lisa but it isn't what you think, she was helping me with something. Just come with me and I'll show you."

Catherine couldn't resist when he looked at her with those eyes, which was one of the reasons she had never wanted to see him again.

Catherine nodded her head and Lou smiled grabbing her hand and dragging her downstairs.

"I need to change first." Catherine exclaimed.

Lou shook his head and said that she would be fine where they are going. First they drove to his motel room and dropped Lindsey off with Jake then he drove them out to one of the nicer neighbourhoods and parked outside a gorgeous house.

"Lou, what are we doing here?" she turned to face him and saw him holding up some keys.

"Its yours, I brought it for us to live in." He looked her straight in the eyes as he said it. "Lisa was helping me sort out all the details."

Catherine looked at him with tears in her eyes then to the house.

"Really?" she whispered.

"Really," he whispered and stroked her cheek as she turned to face him again.

Catherine practically jumped into his arms and held him tight.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered and buried her face in his neck inhaling his scent. "I've missed you so much."

Lou stroked her hair and smiled, glad to have her back in his arms. "Shhhh, its okay baby. I've missed you too and I love you more than words can say."

Pulling back he smiled at her. "Want to go check out your new house?"

"Hell yeah." Catherine smiled and snatched the keys jumping out of the car and running to the front door in her pyjamas.

**I couldn't keep them angry at each other, I just couldn't do it. Plus no way could I make Lou a cheater, that guy is just too awesome to cheat on Cath. Not to mention hoooooooot!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi guys I'm back : ) this time I stole my sister in laws laptop 'cause my nephew bailed on me at the last moment. Going to have to kick his ass for it lol**

Lou slowly got out of the car and followed Catherine as she ran happily to the front door and unlocked it.

'_She looks stunning, so beautiful.'_

He watched as she managed to get the door open and skipped inside, a big smile spread across his face as he heard her gasp.

"You like it?" he asked making her turn around to face him as he shut the door.

"It's beautiful," she gushed and threw her arms around him hugging him close. Lou smiled as he felt her small baby bump press against him.

"There's more." He whispered against her hair and kissed her head before pulling back and taking her hand, "Come with me, there's something I want to show you."

Catherine looked at him suspiciously but let him lead her upstairs and to a closed door which she assumed would lead to one of the bedrooms. Lou stopped just outside the door and turned to face her.

"Close your eyes."

"What?" she folded her arms "What are you up to Lou?"

"Please trust me Catherine." He smiled warmly at her making her unfold her arms and close her eyes showing him that she did indeed trust him.

Lou smiled and turned back around, opened the door then carefully guided Catherine into the middle of the room.

"You know how when we were together I kept working late."

"Yeah." She said starting to get nervous.

"Open your eyes." He whispered.

Catherine opened her eyes and gasped again her eyes filling with tears as she looked around the room.

"Oh wow!" she turned to face him "This is what you were doing?"

Lou nodded with a small smile and looked around the nursery that he had spent hours decorating in neutral colours, baby furniture and a rocking chair in the corner for Catherine to nurse their baby on.

"Do you like it?" he turned to face Catherine again.

"No," she shook her head "I absolutely love it."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply.

"Thank you," she mumbled against his lips.

Lou smiled and pulled back. "I wanted to decorate the nursery for you but we can decorate the rest of the house together, if you want to of course."

Catherine smiled and pressed her body against his. "I want to but right now I want to make love to you."

Lou smiled down at her and kissed her softly on the lips before trailing his kisses down her jaw and to her neck.

"Oh Lou," she gasped. It had been months since she had been touched like this and it was making what she was feeling even more intense.

"Not here," he mumbled against her neck.

"Please Lou, I need you." she pleaded.

Lou smiled and pulled her out of the nursery and down the corridor into a large room with big windows looking over the yard.

"Wait here," he whispered with one last kiss before running down to the car and grabbing some blankets.

Catherine waited in the room taking deep breaths and looking around, her hand stroking her tummy.

"Daddy is back baby," she whispered to her bump.

Lou ran back into the room and saw Catherine stood looking out of one of the windows, the moonlight illuminating her.

'_She looks just like an angel.'_

Catherine felt someone watching her and turned around with a smile on her face. She watched as Lou spread the blankets on the floor making a sort of bed for them, he then walked over to Catherine and took her hand leading her to the blankets and laying her down carefully. Catherine looked up at him from her position on the floor, her blue eyes gleaming and a smile on her face.

Lou slowly stripped his clothes off leaving him in just his boxer shorts before kneeling down next to her on the blankets and started kissing her neck again slowly trailing them across her shoulder, nudging the strap of her tank top out of the way with his nose.

"Take it off." She whispered.

Lou stopped kissing her and slowly pulled her top up and off, putting it on the floor. He couldn't help staring at her beautiful body, he started at the small bump that was their baby and trailed his eyes upwards until the stopped at her bare breasts. He noticed how they had gotten a bit bigger, putting his face back into her neck he nibbled at it as his hands went to her breasts making her flinch.

"Are you okay?" he lifted his head again and looked down at her.

Catherine smiled softly up at him. "They're sensitive that's all."

Lou nodded and moved his hands down and away from her breasts to the waistband of her pyjama bottoms.

"Sorry." She whispered.

"Don't be sorry," he smiled at her "It's not your fault, I'll be gentle."

Catherine nodded and slowly Lou pulled her bottoms and panties off of her and put them with her top. Catherine groaned with a mixture of pleasure and frustration as he slowly started to kiss up her legs, she loved it when they played and teased each other before getting to the actual act but it had been so long since she had been with him she was impatient and wanted him to hurry up and get inside of her.

"As much as I like this babe I want you."

Lou lifted his head and looked at her grinning "You've got me babe." He dropped his head back down and nibbled at her inner thigh.

Catherine groaned and grabbed his head lifting it away from her. "I want you to fuck me, now!" she demanded looking him in the eye.

Nodding Lou slithered his way up her body until he was level with her, kicked off his boxers and gently slipped inside of her making them both groan out loud. Catherine threw her head back and gripped his shoulders, they had always been good together when it came to sex but being pregnant and not having it in so long was heightening her pleasure.

Slowly Lou made love to her watching as she moaned and writhed underneath him, her hands grabbing at anything and everything she could reach.

"More," she gasped "Oh god, more!"

Groaning Lou started to move faster, his hands holding himself up so he didn't crush her or their baby. Catherine was moaning loudly and muttering dirty things to him as he moved.

"So good babe, your cock feels so good." She whispered.

"So do you babe." He whispered back as he felt himself nearing the end, he held back wanting her to reach her release first.

He didn't have to wait long as Catherine's fingers dug into his ass, her manicured nails leaving little crescent marks on his skin. Her body began to shake slightly and her eyes scrunched closed as she climaxed with a groan.

Lou followed her over the edge almost instantly and buried his face against her neck as he groaned.

"Wow," Catherine murmured against his shoulder.

Lou nodded and rolled off of her and pulled one of the blankets around them snuggling against her side fighting sleep. Catherine purred contentedly and snuggled against him.

"Well I guess that's our bedroom christened," Lou chuckled.

Catherine lifted her head and looked around the room. "This is our bedroom? Lou it's huge."

Lou chuckled and mumbled "Only the best for my girl."

Catherine rolled her eyes and lay her head back down on his arm about to say something to him when he started snoring making her smile and close her eyes. His hand rested on her stomach, hers on top of his as she drifted off to sleep herself happy and satisfied for the first time in a long time.

**There you go folks : ) leave me a little review, I like to know what you guys think.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I know its been a while since I last updated this story…..sorry. **

**But in my defence I have wrote a couple of other things to keep you guys busy while you waited.**

Catherine woke late the next morning, she opened her eyes and could see out of the big windows that faced over the back yard. She lay quietly looking out of the window smiling, her small hand on top of Lous big one that was still resting on her tummy, as if he was protecting their baby. She couldn't believe this was all real, she had the man of her dreams, the big house and a baby on the way.

A few minutes later Lou stirred and kissed the back of her shoulder then rested his head on it also looking out of the window.

"What are you looking at baby?" he asked softly.

Catherine smiled bigger and stretched her body out, she hadn't wanted to move earlier and wake him. She could see how tired he was the night before.

"Nothing, I'm just enjoying the view and being lazy."

Lou smiled and hummed. "Being lazy is good, you and squiggle need rest."

Catherine giggled and turned to face him. "Squiggle?"

Smiling Lou nodded. "Like on the scan picture, it looks like a squiggle. I didn't mean to pry but it must of fallen out of your bag last night." He raches over her and pulls the scan picture out of his pants pocket. "It was on the chair when I went to get the blankets out of the car."

Feeling bad Catherine looked down. "I'm sorry about what happened Lou, I overreacted and I bet you probably hate me for that."

Cupping her chin in his hand gently Lou raised her face to give her a quick kiss. "I don't hate you, I love you. But I can come to the next scan right?"

Catherine nodded and threaded her fingers with his. "Of course you can, I wouldn't want it any other way."

Lou broke out into a big grin and raised their entwined hands brushing his lips gently over the back of Catherines.

As much as she liked laying here and doing nothing all day Catherine knew that at some point they would have to get up, they had to eat at least. Stretching her body again she slowly sat up, Lous hand instantly moved to her back and his fingers slowly ran across the curve of her ass. Catherine shuddered softly, he knew all of her weak spots. Feeling Catherines response Lou sat up slightly and leaned forward placing his lips against the small of her back and gently started to pepper it with kisses.

Letting out a soft moan Catherine turned her head to look down at him, she could see his eyes twinkling as he looked up at her. Smiling back at him she turned around breaking the contact.

"We should get back."

Lou pouted and moved to rest his head in her lap. "Do we have to?"

Catherine smiled and ran her fingers through his thick dark hair. "I'm afraid so, I've got a daughter who needs me and your little Squiggle needs feeding."

Lou grinned and sat up, he leaned over and snatched up Catherines underwear then gave them to her.

Once both were dressed ,which took more time than normal because Lou kept touching and kissing Catherine at every opportunity he got, they left the house and headed back to the motel room Lou had been staying in. Pulling up outside Catherine leaned over and gave his lips another quick kiss, their lips had only just made contact when the door was threw open and Lindsey was scrambling up into Lous lap.

Chuckling Lou helped the little girl up. Her little arms immediately wrapped around Lous neck in a tight hug. "Lou bear I missed you." she whispered then gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Missed you too Linds bear." Lou smiled and held her close. Catherine smiled and ran her fingers through her daughters hair.

After managing to convince Lindsey that Lou wasn't going anywhere they climbed out of the car and headed to the diner around the corner for some breakfast, Jake tagging along.

Inside they ordered their food and found a table by the window to sit at. Catherine shuffled onto the seat first so she could look out of the window, Lou was just about o take his place next to her when Lindsey jumped in first and smiled angelically up at him. Smiling he slid onto the small space next to her and put his arm across the back of the bench, his fingers playing with strands of Catherines hair. Smiling happily the little family ate their food while listening to Lindsey talk about pretty much everything that had happened since she last saw Lou.

They were almost finished when Lindsey started bouncing in her seat with her legs crossed.

"Lindsey, do you need the bathroom?" Catherine asked softly. Since Lou had been out of the picture the little girl had started wetting her pants.

Lindsey looked up at Catherine with big blue eyes and nodded. Getting up Catherine shuffled back out of the seat and took Lindsey to the bathroom before she had another accident.

Lou watched them go before sitting back down with the biggest grin on his face.

"So where were you last night?" Jake grinned.

Lou looked up at him with a smile. "Out."

"No shit Sherlock, did you sort things out?"

If possible Lou grinned more and nodded. Jake studied his father and noticed how he had got the twinkle in his eyes back.

"Ah dude seriously?" Jake shook his head.

Chuckling Lou simply stated. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"You…and…..her, you are like animals."

"One day Jake you will find someone who you love and want to spend every possible moment touching and kissing."

Jake shook his head again. "Stop it. I am not going to bump uglies at every possible opportunity."

Lou laughed. "You'll change your mind when that day comes."

"Seriously, can you two not like spend time together without having sex?"

"We're spending time together now and we're not having sex."

"Only because children are present, I'm sure if it was just you two you would be trying to eat each others face off."

"If you think that's what happens when you have sex then I obviously need to give you the talk again."

Jake shook his head. "Please don't."

"Now when a man and a woman love each other very much they like to show that love through the physical act of sex…."

Jake jammed his fingers in his ears. "lalalalalala can't hear you."

Laughing Lou stopped talking, when Jake took his fingers out of his ears Lou had an evil idea. "When me and Cath do it we like to…"

Before he a chance to finish Jakes fingers were back in his ears and he was humming, loudly.

Catherine and Lindsey came back out of the bathroom to see Lou laughing and Jake humming.

"What's going on?" Catherine smiled and sat down.

"Dads being disgusting that's what's going on."

Turning to Lou Catherine raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I was just explaining to my son here about the birds and the bees." Lou smiled at her.

Lindsey looked between the three then fixed her gaze onto Jake. "Birds have feathers and go tweet tweet . Bees make honey and hurt when they sting you." She explained.

Everyone went silent and looked at her before they all broke down laughing.

"But they do, Miss Fletcher at school told us" she pouted.

"Yes baby they do." Catherine said softly through her laughter and stroked her soft blonde hair. "There you go Jake, now you know about the birds and the bees."

"Guess I do." Jake smiled. "Thank you Lindsey."

Lou gathered control of his laughter and looked at the three of them as they spoke, he watched Jake and Lindsey laughing and teasing each other. Moving his gaze further over he saw Catherine watching them also with a soft smile on her face and a hand resting gently on her stomach, he smiled seeing the soft rubbing motion she was doing.

This was perfect, he had his little family back together.


	6. Chapter 6

**Updating because I promised Zohar I would update this story : )**

Catherine fidgeted in bed trying to get comfy, she had spent over an hour tossing and turning trying to turn her mind off and get comfy but she just couldn't. Sighing she looked over at Lou, she frowned seeing him lay on his stomach fast asleep and drooling a little.

'_Charming, he's the one who got me knocked up and he's sleeping fine. Well we'll see about that!_

Reaching over she jabbed him in the side with her finger, Lou scrunched his face up and shifted slightly but didn't wake making Catherine frown even more than before.

They had decided that after work next shift that they would tell everyone the news, they didn't really have much of a choice since Catherine was beginning to show and people would soon notice her mad dashes to the bathroom to be sick or because the baby was lay on her bladder, which has quickly become its favourite place to be.

The thought of telling all of her colleagues that she was pregnant was a bit daunting, she wasn't exactly in her prime anymore and they would all start to treat her like a porcelain doll.

Rolling onto her side for the umpteenth time that night she looked at the glowing digits on her clock and calculated how much sleep she would get if was to fall asleep within the next ten minutes.

"Four," she sighed knowing that on four hours sleep she would be cranky as hell when it was time to get up for work.

Groaning she rolled back onto her back and turned her head to face Lou again giving him the evils.

'_How can he just lay there and sleep?'_

Reaching over again she jabbed him even harder, he jerked and fell off the side of the bed.

"Son of a….." he cursed and sat up rubbing his eyes. "What happened?"

Catherine looked at him and feigned innocence. "I don't know, one minute you were sleeping peacefully and the next you freaked out and fell off the bed. Did you have a nightmare baby?"

Pulling himself up he got back onto the bed and lay on his back. "I don't think so, I don't remember having a bad dream." He turned his head to her. "What are you doing up anyway?"

Catherine let out a breath. "I can't sleep."

"Is this about telling the team?" Catherine nodded slightly. "Babe they will be fine with it, they all love you."

"I'm not worried about them reacting badly, I know they will support me through this. I'm worried about them supporting me too much, if you know what I mean."

Lou rolled onto his side and put his hand over her bump poking out from under her vest top.

"I'll be right there with you both."

Nodding Catherine cuddled up to him and rested her head on his chest. "I just don't want them to think they have to give me special treatment just because I'm pregnant, I managed with Lindsey and I'll manage with this one.""Babe you were-"

"Don't you dare say younger," she interrupted making Lou close his mouth. "I know I'm not some spring chicken anymore but I can still do this."Nodding Lou looked at her and softly stroked her back lulling her to sleep while making plans in his head to tell the team to keep an eye on her.

The next night at shift Catherine walked into work wearing one of her looser fitting sweaters, Greg was the first to notice that she had started wearing loose clothing but had yet to say anything. Catherine walked into the break room tugging on the sweater anxiously, making sure her bump was covered.

"What's with the sweater Cath?" Greg piped up from the counter in front of her making her snap her head up and fumble with the sweater.

"The weather is getting cooler." Greg raised his eyebrow watching her for a minute before he shrugged and turned back to the counter.

"Want a coffee?" he asked.

"No thanks, I'm having a tea." She smiled softly now stood next to him making herself a weak tea.

Greg spent the whole time scrutinising her before he headed back to work, grabbing Saras arm on the way he pulled her into the DNA lab.

"Something is wrong with Cath." He looked around making sure they were alone."What do you mean Greg?"

"I mean Cath is acting weird, she's wearing loose clothes and isn't drinking coffee.""And you just happened to notice this?" Sara raised an eyebrow in typical Sidle style and folded her arms.

"I may have been checking her out." Sara pursed her lips when he said this. "Oh don't give me that look Sara, I check you out too." Greg winked playfully.

Sara chuckled and shook her head. "You were saying something is wrong with Catherine?"

"Yeah well like I said she's acting weird, I'm thinking we should talk to her. The last time she was like this was when Eddie was smacking her around, what if Lou is doing it?"

"I highly doubt that Greg, he dotes on her."

Greg nodded slightly. "That's what we thought about Eddie until he showed his true colours."

Sara thought for a minute before she shook her head. "Nah, I don't believe that's what's happening."

"I know we all like the guy Sar but we have to face what is right in front of us."

Sara frowned thinking it over. "I guess we could talk to them after shift."

"What's happening after shift?" Greg asked standing up a little straighter.

"Cath asked us all to Franks for breakfast before we go home." She looked at him confused. "Didn't she ask you?"

Greg pouted. "No."

"I'm sure she meant to Greggo, I got an email about it so maybe you did too." Sara patted his back reassuringly. "I'll see you later and Greg, keep quiet about the Lou thing. We don't know what is going on and we don't want people hearing something like that and jumping to conclusions before we know anything."

The rest of the shift Greg watched over Catherine trying to figure out what was going on with her.

Once shift was over everyone went to Franks, Catherine and Lou arriving after everyone else. They walked in holding hands, Catherine looking paler than usual and extremely nervous. Greg nudged Sara, even she had to admit that it did look a bit suspicious. Lou was standing really close in an almost possessive manner.

Catherine slid into the booth across from the guys, Lou following seconds after and sitting close to her. He too hold of her hand under the table and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"So Cath, why are we here?" Nick piped up.

Taking a deep breath Catherine nervously glanced at Lou before looking at each of the guys, she could see the worried expressions on Greg and Saras face.

"I have something to tell all of you, I don't know how you are going to take it." Greg and Sara shared a worried glance. "The thing is me and Lou….we're…..well…..I'm pregnant." She held her head high and looked at everyone, daring them to say something about it.

Greg and Sara let out a sigh of relief, all the other guys stared at her for a moment before the congratulations started. Nick was the first to stand up and lean across the table hugging her.

"Congrats Cath, I know you'll make a great mom. Again." he chuckled and kissed her cheek before turning to Lou and shaking his hand. "Well done man, take care of our girl."

Everyone said their piece, Doc Robbins even offering to get her the vitamins she would need. Greg was the last to stand up.

"I'm really out of a chance now aren't I?"

Catherine chuckled and nodded her head. "Sorry Greggo but my heart belongs to Lou."

Greg sighed dejectedly before breaking out into a smile. "So I've heard pregnancy makes your boobs bigger," his eyes wandered down to her chest making Catherine foldher arms across her chest. "And my friend says it can send your sex drive into overdrive." He winked suggestively.

"That is for Lou to know and you to never find out."

"Well all I'm gonna say is, I'm here if Lou isn't up to the job." He winked again and blew a kiss to her making her chuckle and lean across the table suggestively.

"Trust me Greg," she whispered just loud enough for the whole table to hear. "Lou is more than up for the job." She finished with a smirk and sat back in her seat putting her hand on a grinning Lous leg leaving Greg to frown and pout.

"It's alright, I still got my Sara." He said and stuck his tongue out at her, his hand starting to move to Saras leg.

"Touch me and die Sanders." Sara said without even turning her head to look at him.

Greg slumped back in his seat and threw his arms in the air. "Why does no one want any Greg loving!" He called out attracting the attention of several other people in the diner and causing everyone at their table to break out in laughter.

Catherine smiled watching her friends laughing and having fun, she relaxed a little knowing they were still acting the same around her.

'_Maybe things wont change just because I'm pregnant, maybe everything will be the same.' _

She gently rested her hand on her bump and leaned into Lou for support, support which he graciously gave to her without hesitation. She remained that way until the wave of nausea hit her.

"Lou I need to get up." She whispered giving him a look that said she needed to move fast.

Lou quickly stood up and helped her out of the booth, watching as she rushed to the bathroom. Everyone looked at him.

"Is she alright?" Nick asked clearly concerned about his long time friend.

"Yeah, she gets morning sickness a lot." Lou sighed softly feeling bad for Catherine and wishing he could take the sickness away from her.

"Bet she wishes you were seahorses." DB spoke up from his corner of the booth making everyone turn to face him, he looked up at the blank expressions that we're waiting for an explanation. "Well with seahorses it's the male that carries the eggs, the female doesn't really do anything except visit him everyday."

The blank stares remained on his co-workers faces until Greg shook his head. "Man you know some weird stuff." Everyone chuckled and went back to what they were doing before, Lou carried on eating his pancakes and shooting glances at the bathroom door.

Ten minutes later Catherine came back out and sat back in her place picking at her food.

"So Cath, my friend also told me something else about pregnancy." Greg spoke up with a mischievous grin which made Catherine roll her eyes.

"Go on, what pearls of wisdom has your friend given you this time?"

"Well he said that when his wife was pregnant it made her gassy, do you think that's true?" He smirked, Catherine's eyes went wide and she put her fork down.

"Greg I am not going to answer that question." She stated.

"Its true," Lou murmured making Catherine turn around to face him, shock and anger showing on her face. "Well you do babe."

"No I do not!" she exclaimed causing Greg to snicker watching them.

"You do," Lou said, not having the sense to shut up.

"When?" Catherine folded her arms getting angrier.

"In bed." Lou stated looking at everyone.

Catherine threw her napkin on the table and stood up shuffling out of the booth.

"Cath, babe?" Lou asked looking up at her.

"I cant believe you just told everyone that Lou, when you get home you can sleep on the couch and don't even think about trying to get any!" She yelled before storming out of the diner.

Lou looked over at the rest of the guys. "Oops."

**Well it looks like Lou is in the doghouse, my hubby would be too if he said that about me. Wonder what he will have to do to make it up to Catherine…**


	7. Chapter 7

**I've had some free time on my hands recently so I've managed to get quite a bit of writing done, aren't you guys lucky.**

They walked into their new house together; Lou sighed softly and watched as Catherine marched her way towards the stairs, she still hadn't spoken to him since he told everyone at the diner that pregnancy had indeed been making her gassy. He shook his head thinking she was overreacting, to him passing gas was a perfectly normal thing to do and he had tried telling her so but she had simply glared at him before turning and looking out the side window as he drove them home.

He kicked his shoes off and went upstairs to their bedroom in pursuit of Catherine and to apologise again, he opened the door and was greeted by his pillow hitting him in the face; he caught it as it fell down towards the ground and shot a sorrowful look at Catherine. She was laid on the bed with her back to him so missed his puppy dog eyes which usually worked on her.

"Get out. I told you I didn't want you in here with me." She didn't look at him as she spat the words.

Lou sighed. "Cat please-."

Catherine spun around and shot her death glare in his direction. "Don't Cat please me! You told everyone that I pass gas!"

Lou's brow furrowed. "Cat, come on. It's only a little thing, it's not like I told them something they didn't already know."

Grabbing another pillow she threw it him. "OUT!"

Sighing Lou picked his pillow up and plodded his way down the hall, his feet making a soft thudding sound on the hardwood floors, he stopped at the closet at the top of the stairs and opened the door, grabbed a blanket and continued his way down to the too small couch in the living room. He had been made to sleep on it once before and he hated every second of it, his feet stuck out over the end and the cushions gave him a wedgie. Luckily though, that night Catherine had forgiven him within a couple of hours and invited him back into their bed with a kiss and maybe a little touching, he smirked remembering the fooling around they did when he climbed under the covers next to her shorts and vest clad body. He didn't think he would have such luck tonight and his smirk faded. He set his pillow down on the end of the couch, away from the door, human instinct he reasoned, the instinct to protect oneself from predators. He thought about this as he fluffed the pillow and glanced at the door, he thought about how whenever you made a bed, even a temporary one, you always positioned your head furthest from the door or entrance, in view but away. So that if any would be killers came in to hurt you, you would stand a chance.

He sighed and shook his head slightly to rid his mind of killers and such; he didn't need to be thinking of stuff like that right before bed. He spread a sheet out over the fabric of the couch and tucked the edges in as best he could then lay down resting his head against the pillow; he pulled his thin blanket over him and up to his chin, stared at the ceiling and played the events of the diner and car journey over in his mind again. Surely Catherine wouldn't stay mad at him for such a small thing. Or would she?

It had taken him quite a while to fall asleep, he kept thinking of Catherine and their baby, how things would be once he or she were here, what it would be like to hold the precious child in his arms, rock him to sleep, he had decided it would be a boy, another strapping lad that had Catherine's fiery personality and his strong physique.

When he eventually did fall asleep his dreams were plagued by night terrors, something he hadn't experienced in a long time, and something he thought had stopped for good when he started living with Catherine. He didn't know why but since he had been sharing a bed with her his night terrors hadn't made an appearance and he was thankful, until tonight.

He woke up in a sweat and breathing heavy, his wide eyes flicked around the dark room as he searched for something, anything to reassure him all was okay. It was then that he realised what he needed to reassure him was upstairs in bed, he needed to see Catherine, he needed to make sure she and the baby were okay.

Throwing the twisted sheets off his body he stood and made his way to the stairs, his sock clad feet sounding louder on the floors than before, perhaps it was the dark, the stillness or perhaps it was the anticipation of seeing Catherine. He made his way up the stairs as fast as his unsteady legs would carry him, the dream had been bad, real bad. He recalled the terror of finding Catherine's mutilated body, a gaping hole in her stomach where their baby should have been, the sick feeling that filled his mouth when he saw her wide, empty eyes staring at him, her mouth open in a silent scream. He quickly shook his head and with hands clammy from sweat he pushed open the door to their room, his eyes took a moment to adjust to the darkness then he could make out the shape of the bed, he noticed the bulge in the centre and slowly approached so he didn't wake her. As he got closer he noticed that something was wrong with the shape, it wasn't right, it was too lumpy, not human like. He rushed the last couple of steps and yanked back the covers.

His head started to spin and his stomach lurched, instead of Catherine in the bed there was an oversized teddy, one he had won for Lindsey at the carnival.

His desperate eyes searched the room but saw nothing unusual except for the bear, the bear that _always_ stayed by Lindsey's bed.

He rushed back over to the bed and scanned it with his eyes for any other evidence, he didn't want to risk contaminating a potential crime scene by rummaging through the covers, and he noted with a sinking feeling that there was nothing, nothing to explain why his pregnant girlfriend had disappeared or where she had gone.

He ran out of the bedroom and down the stairs two at a time, he propelled himself into the kitchen and slipped on the shiny tiled floor as he dashed for the phone by the back door. Grabbing the phone he dialled Jim's number and listened to the dial tone and the eventual ringing.

Jim answered groggily. "Brass."

"She's gone Jim, something has happened to Catherine!"

Lou heard the rustle of bedcovers and Jim rushing to get dressed, something in Lou's tone told him he wasn't messing around, that this was serious.

He started to explain briefly what had happened, his eyes scanning the kitchen as he spoke, more out of habit that actually looking for something, but it was this force of habit that made him notice something unusual.

On the breakfast table in the little nook he saw a single red tulip, the kind he had brought Catherine on their first date. He knew he hadn't brought any and Catherine hadn't brought flowers for ages, the scent made her nauseous, so where had this seemingly innocent plant come from?

He took a step closer and dropped the phone.

Next to the flower was a necklace with a small scorpion pendant, the one Catherine always wore and never took off.

That was all there was an already Lou knew things were bad, very bad.

Someone had taken his girlfriend.

**DUM DUM DUM!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I know I've been slacking recently but I've had a hell of a lot going on in my personal life.**

**Well here's a little chapter to keep you interested, I hope.**

Catherine awoke in a dark, dank room that smelt musty, damp. This was not her bedroom; these were not the sheets she had on her bed, what the hell had happened to her?

The last thing she remembered was waking up in her bed to a dark figure standing at the end, she had thought it was Lou so hadn't called out or reached for her service weapon in the bedside table. She had sat up slightly and rubbed her tired eyes, about to apologise for their spat earlier when the figure moved towards her, stepping into the stream of moonlight breaking through the gap in her drapes. It was then that she knew it wasn't Lou, Lou didn't have breasts.

She had opened her mouth to scream but the mystery woman had quickly covered it with a cloth, instantly knocking her out.

Blinking to adjust to the surrounding darkness Catherine pulled herself up into a sitting position; she felt along the rough sheets and figured she was on a small bed, not much bigger than a toddler bed. She swung her feet around and dangled them over the edge, stretched her feet and wiggled her toes. Yep, everything still worked. She butt shuffled forwards on the bed and dropped her feet to the floor, instantly pulling them back up onto the bed and cradling them in her hands. Her feet were bare and the concrete was extremely cold. She rubbed them with her hands to fight off the chill the floor had created in them.

She took a deep breath to try and calm her rising panic and fight the urge not to cry, she had to be strong for her baby and who knew what that psycho had used to knock her out. She could hazard a guess, from the smell she recalled engulfing her room it had to be halothane but without a proper test she couldn't be 100% certain. Okay, so that wasn't too bad, psycho bitch could have used something a lot worse than that. But halothane, like every inhalational anaesthetic had its downsides, its side effects. She dredged her mind for anything she could remember on the substance, one point jumped out at her, one very worrying point. The words 'termination of pregnancy' swam through her head like a sick slideshow and caused her rising panic to bubble to the surface.

A strangled sob burst from her mouth as her hands sought out the tiny bump that was her unborn baby; she cradled her bump in her palms and stroked her thumbs along it softly.

She couldn't lose her baby; she would do anything this psycho bitch wanted so long as her baby lived. Nothing mattered as long as the baby was safe and got to go home to his or her wonderful daddy, even if she couldn't.

Her heart broke at the thought of Lou and the possibility that she may never see him again. She sniffled softly and wiped her nose on her sleeve, something she always chastised Lindsey for doing.

She knew her team were good but would they able to save her in time? Would they be forced to choose between her and the baby? If they did she knew what she would want them to do. She would want them to save the baby.

The floorboards creaked above and the sound of someone approaching the door caused Catherine to raise her head and wipe her tears away, she wouldn't let this psycho see her crying. Then footsteps were soft so the person couldn't be very heavy, or they were very light footed. Either way Catherine knew she needed something to defend herself.

After desperately looking around she had come up empty handed, the darkness of the room hadn't offered much help and she didn't want to stand on the cold floor again. Seconds later she heard the clicking of a lock being opened followed by the sounds of bolts being dragged across. The heavy door swung open and harsh, bright light filled the room, Catherine squinted her eyes against the blinding light and shuffled back on the bed until her back hit the wall. Too late she realised she had backed herself into a corner with no escape. Stupid mistake.

A dark figure stepped into the doorway, casting a shadow over the room. Catherine blinked, trying to focus her eyes against the sudden intrusion of light. The steps of the rickety staircase started to squeak causing her to look up at the figure now descending the stairs towards her.

With her eyes slowly adjusting to the light she gasped as the familiar person came into focus. "Thank god!" desperation and relief flooded her voice. "Quick, get me out of her before psycho bitch returns." Catherine clambered to her feet despite the cold floor and her hazy state from the halothane and stumbled towards her saviour.

**Dun, dun, dun!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Aren't you folks lucky with all these fic updates recently?**

3 days, 3 long days since that fateful night Lou had discovered Catherine had been taken and the house had been a circus ever since, even now at this late hour as he lay in bed he could hear the hushed voices of the officers downstairs, he couldn't make out what they were saying but occasionally he would pick up the odd word. Outside his window, which was firmly shut to try and block out the noise, he could hear the journalists that had set up on his front lawn when news of her kidnapping had hit the tabloids. Jim and the others had tried their hardest to keep it out of the media spotlight but a pregnant CSI being kidnapped from her own bed while her boyfriend slept downstairs was bound to stir up a shit storm.

As he lay in the dark staring up at the blank white ceiling his mind drifted to thoughts of the lawn. It was bound to be ruined from all the feet trampling on it and Catherine had made sure that she had watered it daily, gave it the right food mixture to bring out the luscious green it had been before the animals known as reporters had trodden all over it. It was no doubt a swamp now. He shouldn't even be in bed; he should be downstairs helping them find his missing pregnant girlfriend.

But Jim had insisted her go to bed and at least try to sleep; he was no good to anyone if he was too tired to function. Lou thought that was a little hypocritical of him since he himself hadn't rested since that night. It had taken Jim a little more coaxing and a few of the officers to get Lou to reluctantly stomp his way upstairs and into the bedroom. Walking into the room had been so weird; this room held so many good memories of mornings spent holding Catherine or talking to the tiny bump that was their baby, nights of loving, passionate embraces. Now the room held a sinister side, this room had meant to be a safe place for them but yet this room had been where Catherine must have spent her last few minutes in this house, terrified.

He hadn't turned the lights on; instead he had shut the door behind him and let the soft moonlight guide him as he walked around the room, his fingers ghosting over the clothes Catherine had left strewn across the leather chair. The clothes she had worn that night before she had changed into her pyjamas. He fingered the soft pink blouse before raising it to his face in a bunch and inhaling her unique scent, finally allowing the tears to fall. His mind buzzed with different, deadly scenarios that Catherine could be in.

He remained that way for a few minutes until the bright flash of a camera turned his attention to the window, stood on a ladder outside the house was a reporter, clearly he wanted to get the best shot of the broken man so had opted for breaching his personal space by peering in through the bedroom window. Lou, still holding the blouse in one hand by his side, marched over to the window and yanked the thick drapes closed, cutting out the outside world completely.

He took a few deep breaths and regained what little composure he had before stripping down to his boxers and climbing under the cream sheets Catherine had picked out, her blouse remained in his hand and he held it against his chest. Her scent lingered on the bed sheets and he suddenly found himself engulfed in everything Catherine.

He hadn't been in the bed long when the door slowly opened and a little blonde head peaked around the corner, a quiet voice drifting over to his prone form on the bed. "Lou?" He barely heard the voice over his own thoughts, raising his head he looked over at the little girl in her pink pyjamas and clutching her soft Zebra teddy, briefly wondering who had dressed her for bed, he patted the bed next to him and lifted the covers for her to climb in next to him.

She scampered over and climbed in, immediately burying her face against the pillow that Catherine would normally use. The bed had been processed as evidence of course so the sheets had been changed from the ones that had been on the bed 3 nights ago. Lindsey moved to lie on her back like Lou and copied his motion of staring at the ceiling, clutching her zebra to her chest under the covers.

An eerie quiet had settled over the room once again, Lou didn't know what to say to the little girl, he couldn't tell her it would be okay, he didn't want to give her false hope that Catherine may come back when in his own mind he doubted that. He had been on the force too many years to know that the chances of finding her alive and unharmed decreased with each passing day and the fact that they hadn't received a ransom note of any kind didn't give him much hope. What if the kidnapper had already killed her and was just sitting back watching the media storm over it and laughing? No, he couldn't tell Lindsey everything would be fine, he wasn't going to start making promises he couldn't keep.

His thoughts were interrupted once again but this time it was the small, warm hand closing around his larger one that had invaded his senses and moved his attention back to the room. Slowly he turned his head to the side and sought out Lindsey's face in the darkness, she wasn't looking at him but some unseen spot on the ceiling but even in this dark light he could see the tears glistening on her cheeks. He closed his hand around hers and held it close, rolled onto his side and kissed her head softly. That had been all it had taken for Lindsey to throw herself against his chest and into his arms, burying herself against his strong body as sobs wracked her small, frail one. He held her close and rubbed her back as tears spilled out of his own cheeks, in this saddest of times a connection was being created between man and child, a bond of sorrow.

Eventually, when there were no more tears left to be cried, they lay together on their sides facing each other, Lou's hands wrapped around hers in the small space between them.

"She's not coming back is she?" Lindsey whispered in her childlike voice.

Lou released one of her hands and tucked a stray lock of blonde hair behind her ear, allowing himself a moment before replying. "I don't know honey bunch, Uncle Jim and everyone are doing everything they can to find her."  
>Lindsey's blue eyes bore into his. "Why aren't you helping them?" it wasn't accusatory, she hadn't meant any harm by asking; it was simply a child's curiosity.<p>

He took a deep breath and decided honesty was the best policy throughout. "Because I might do something wrong or compromise the case."

"Why?" Her little face scrunched up slightly in confusion.

"Well, because I love your mommy so much. They also have to check that I'm not the person who took your mommy."

Lindsey's face turned from confusion to one similar to Catherine when she was pissed off. "Why would you take mommy? You love her and she loves you and she wants to stay here. Did you fights?"

Lou nodded a little. "Yes, we had a little fight before she went to bed but I would never hurt your mommy, I didn't make her go away." His fingers brushed her cheek softly and he was relieved when she nuzzled against them.

"I know." She murmured. "You are mommy's superman." She mumbled as her eyes slowly started to drift closed and her body relaxed against the mattress. Lou gently scooped her into his arms and held her close as she slept, not matter what happened he wasn't going to let this little girl out of his sight, if Catherine never came back he would be here for her daughter.

Burying his face against her hair he whispered one simple phrase. "For always."


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning Lou opened his eyes to the sounds of the usual officers downstairs, only this time they had moved into the kitchen and it sounded like they were making drinks. He lifted his head a little and raised one hand to his eyes, rubbed them and blinked again trying to figure out when he had fallen asleep. It must have been somewhere around 3am, Lindsey had been fast asleep in his arms, snuggled in deep against his chest. He had been holding her close and stroking her soft blonde her, she was so like her mom it pained him but he knew that he was the only person she had now.

Looking down at her she looked so peaceful, she hadn't moved once in her sleep which he found odd. When Jake had been little he would toss and turn and he knew from checking on Lindsey at night times that she also tossed and turned, this whole thing must have taken its toll on her.

Turning his head to the digital clock, the shiny read numbers displaying the time as 10.30am. Had he really slept that long? He must have 'cause the sun was now shining through the slight gap at the edge of the drapes. He stretched his legs a little, trying not to wake the still slumbering child, and lay his head back down on the pillows. He studied her soft features as she slept; she had her mother's dainty nose but her father's lips.

It wasn't long before she woke, blinking her eyes open and smiling up at him, momentarily forgetting everything that was happening. Lou attempted a smile back and stroked her messy hair. "Sleep well honeybunch?"

Lindsey nodded and stretched before settling herself back against his chest, Lou gently wrapped his arms around her a little tighter and kissed her forehead softly, he didn't want to ruin the moment, break their bond but he knew that someone would come looking for them soon. The family liaison officer would be worried; she had been keeping a close eye on the pair, always rushing around making them drinks and keeping them as informed on the case as she could. He knew it was her job but sometimes he just wished she would back off and give him some space, nothing she could do would make him feel any better. There was only one person who could do that and that was Catherine returning safe and sound but he knew that was an unlikely scenario, holding Lindsey and spending the time alone with her was the closest he had come to feeling any kind of semblance to normality. All that needed to happen now would be for Catherine to walk into the bedroom calling them lazy bums and trying to get them out of bed as they laughed and hid under the covers. She would pretend to be mad but they knew she found it amusing seeing them acting silly together, she would huff and tell them she was going out without them, they'd laugh more and say it was okay then she would grab the end of the covers and yank them off before clambering onto the bed with them and they would all have 'snuggle time' as Lindsey called it.

His gaze drifted to the door and in his mind's eye he saw Catherine stood there, leaning against the frame, her hair messy and wearing his old football jersey. She'd have a teasing smile playing on her lips as he would raise himself onto his elbows and let his gaze wander over her before telling her she looked beautiful. She would roll her eyes and tell him he must be blind, she looked a mess. But to him she had never looked as beautiful as she did when she was stripped bare of all her makeup, her hair messy, she looked radiant. Eventually Lou would grab her and pull her onto the bed, pin her beneath his body and kiss every inch of her face as she giggled and squirmed.

The image faded as Lindsey wriggled and scrunched her nose up. "You smell." It came out as blunt as a statement like that could.

Lou raised his eyebrows and looked down at her, amusement flickering in her eyes. "Is that so?"

Nodding her little head and waving her hand in her nose she smiled and said. "Stinky."

Lou laughed softly and tickled her sides. "You're the stinky one, stinky."

Lindsey dissolved into fits of giggles and wriggled around on the bed trying to get away from Lou's tickling fingers, Lou followed her as she wriggled and continued to attack her sides.

Eventually the tickling slowly subsided and the both sat, cross legged and facing each other on the bed, Lou reached his hands out and took her smaller ones into his. "Think I should shower?"

Lindsey nodded her little head, some hair falling over her face from the action. She swept her hands over her face, moving the hair out of the way and looked up at Lou with s sad expression. "Mommy liked you to smell nice, I fink mommy want you to shower."

Lou's eyebrow quirked slightly. "She told you that?"

This time a little smile twitched at the corners of Lindsey's lips. "No, I heard her and Sara talking about it. I was sposed to be in bed but I wanted a drink and I heard mommy say you smell nice, she likes it." She looked up at him with big innocent eyes. "Then Sara laughed and said somefing that mommy laughed at."

Lou was curious to hear more but was slightly worried about what they could have talked about, he remembered the night Sara had visited.

Lou had gone to bed early, leaving the girls to talk and do whatever it is that girls do when they're alone. Well from their room he had heard the sounds of laughing well into the night, eventually Catherine had gone to bed, stripping off and crawling in next to him with a smirk. Her hand had snaked around his hip and into his boxers where she cupped his flaccid member and with a press of her lips to his neck she mumbled. "There's my big boy."

Feeling her hand on his penis had made him jump slightly and turn his head to look at her. "Are you feeling okay?" He had asked and rolled to face her. Her lips had assaulted his and her hands began tugging his boxers down, it was at that moment that Lou realised she had been completely naked.

Things had progressed quickly; Lou quit wondering what had gotten her like this and went with it. He was a red blooded male after all and wasn't about to refuse having sex with his gorgeous girlfriend. The next morning at breakfast Lou had questioned Catherine about why she had been so eager to jump his bones, she had smirked and commented that talking with Sara had made her realise what a lucky girl she was, she had finished the statement with a wink. Lou knew from that one wink that they had discussed more than just the weather, he had heard stuff about girls talking about sex, size and such. He took a sip of his coffee and watched Catherine sway her hips as she walked around the kitchen, a small smirk had tugged at his lips as he thought he didn't have anything to worry about. He knew he wasn't small in that department and well, he had never heard any complaints from Catherine about their sex life, she always seemed satisfied with their encounters.

So now, with Lindsey telling him she had heard them talking, he hoped and prayed that she hadn't heard that part of the conversation.

He cleared his throat a little and looked towards the bathroom door. "I'm going to go shower now honeybunch, why don't you go play in your room for a little bit then I'll make you breakfast." He felt guilty now; he hadn't made her anything to eat since Catherine had gone missing. He was thankful to whoever had been caring for the young girl but it was his job to do.

"Can I stay in here and look at mommy's shoes?"

Lou smiled and ruffled her hair as he got up off the bed, Lindsey loved playing dress up and Catherine's closet was like a treasure box of wonderful items to a little girl. "Sure, just be careful. I don't want you hurting yourself."

Lindsey hopped off the bed and skipped to the closet, throwing the doors open and dropping down onto her knees to rummage through the shoes. Lou watched her for a moment; he could almost fool himself into believing that everything was okay, that the noises downstairs were just coming from the TV not from the officers working around the clock to find Catherine.

With a heavy heart he went into the bathroom, stripped and climbed under the warm spray, letting it wash over his numb body.


	11. Chapter 11

Lou Vartann raced through the automatic doors leading into the main reception area of Desert Palm. His bare feet slapped against the cold tiled floor as he ran down the corridors, his eyes scanning every sign he passed for directions to his destination. He didn't slow his frantic pace once, even when he collided with a couple walking hand in hand, he merely rushed past them with an apology thrown carelessly over his shoulder. He had much more important things on his mind than the feelings of perfect strangers. Catherine was here and nothing was going to stop him from getting to her. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms, make sure she and the baby were okay and never let her out of his sight again.

Brass had called him a little over fifteen minutes ago with the news that they had found Catherine, he hadn't said much about how she was, and just that Lou needed to get there ASAP.

And he had.

He'd definitely broken a few speed limits and moving violations to get there and his car was parked outside the building's main entrance, probably earning him a ticket or a tow. Right now, he didn't care; he'd deal with the repercussions later.

His breath coming in pants he took a left then a right as per the directions on the sign that he whizzed past. He came to a stop outside the elevators and pressed the call button for the elevator which would take him to the 3rd floor and to Catherine. He shifted his feet anxiously and jabbed the button repeatedly when the elevator didn't immediately come. "Come on!"

He was agitated, he just wanted to get to Catherine but the damn lift was taking forever. He slammed his hand against the cool metal door in a fit of anger before turning around and looking for the stairwell. Locating it over to the left he made a beeline for it just as the elevator pinged and the doors opened, he quickly changed course and dashed inside. He pressed the button for the third floor and leant against the wall opposite taking deep breaths, he needed to calm down before seeing Catherine.

He was eager to see her and check on her and Brass' unwillingness to answer his questions had his mind going crazy over the possibilities. Was she seriously hurt? Was there something wrong with the baby? Had she lost the baby?

As the questions buzzed he felt the sting of sorrow deep in his heart, something had to be seriously wrong if Jim couldn't tell him over the phone.

The elevator ride seemed to take an age but thankfully hadn't made any other stops on the way so Lou was free to worry without the prying eyes of curious strangers. When the doors finally opened on the 3rd floor Lou marched down the hall to where he could see Jim Brass talking to what looked like a nurse.

"Where is she Jim?" He called before he'd even reached him.

Jim dismissed the nurse and turned to face Lou, his face was set in an almost unreadable mask but Lou had known this man for almost all of his career in the force and knew that when Jim's face held that look he was about to deliver devastating news to some poor family member.

He briefly closed his eyes. "Just tell me Jim." He murmured and opened his eyes, looking at his long term friend. "It's the baby isn't it? She lost it."

Jim could practically hear the poor guy's heart shattering and put a supportive hand on his arm. "The baby is fine."

Lou's breath left his body in a rush as relief flooded him; he thanked all the gods out there for saving his child. Jim watched his friend and sighed softly, he didn't want to have to tell him but he knew it would be better coming from him than from a stranger.

"Lou, we need to talk before you see Catherine." He looked over to the nurses' station, eyes connecting with the nurse he had been talking with before Lou's arrival had interrupted them. She subtly nodded down the corridor in the direction Lou had come from. "Come on, let's go somewhere private."

Lou wearily looked at him and nodded before following his friends lead and walking slowly down to the family room, the room where doctors gave families bad news about their relatives, the room where lives where families were torn apart and lives were shattered.

Jim shut the door once Lou had walked in and offered him a seat, Lou declined with a shake of his head and stared at Jim. "Please Jim; just tell me what's wrong with her." Lou pleaded.

Jim lowered himself into one of the overstuffed chairs, buying himself some time to think of how he was going to tell the broken man in front of him that the woman he loved more than anything was a shell of the woman she had been before.

Lou rubbed his hand over his face. "Was she..." He paused; he didn't want to say the word that caused bile to rise in his throat and his fists to clench in anger. "Raped?" He finally whispered.

"They haven't done the rape kit yet, they've been checking on the baby since we arrived." He paused and watched the emotions run across Lou's face. "Physically, she looks fine but..."

"What?" Lou stepped closer.

"She's not speaking to anyone, she won't answer any of our questions, and she won't eat or drink. Lou, she's pulled into herself. Whatever happened to her there, it was bad."

Jim's gaze fell to his lap, only momentarily, the sound of Lou's fist hitting the wall caused him to jump up and put a hand on the distraught mans shoulder.

He put on his best calming voice. "Hey now, don't go trashing the place."

Lou turned his hand over and stared at his red knuckles, he clenched his fist a few times before speaking in a low voice. "I want to see her."

Jim knew there would be no point in trying to talk him out of it and nodded, he silently led him back the way they had come, around the nurse's desk and paused outside a room. He turned and looked at Lou before knocking and entering the room.

"Hey Cath, look who's here." He plastered a smile across his face despite the circumstances and made his voice as cheerful as he could.

Lou stepped around him and saw Catherine lay on her side in the bed, her eyes trained on the monitor beside her, a steady beeping emitting from it. His eyes followed the wires from the machine to where they disappeared under Catherine's hospital gown; he knew that machine she was so intently watching was monitoring their baby. He took a step towards the bed and gently took her hand in his.

"Hey sweetheart."

Upon hearing his voice and knowing it was his touch she was feeling Catherine quickly snatched her hand away and pulled the covers up higher, covering her from the neck down. Lou's face fell at her response to him, he had dreaded this happening and he didn't blame her for not wanting to be near him. He had failed her; he hadn't protected her when she had needed him the most.

He glanced at Jim who gave him a sympathetic smile and left the room to give them some privacy.

Lou stared at Catherine's back for a couple of minutes before attempting to talk to her again.

"I'm sorry baby, please talk to me. Let me help you." Catherine's response was to remain perfectly still, not acknowledging his presence at all. Lou nodded softly and pulled the hard plastic chair over to the side of the bed, the legs dragging loudly across the floor in the quiet room. He pulled it as close as he could and sat down, his upturned hand on the bed next to her in the hopes that she would hold it.

His eyes watched the steady blink of the machine. "I've missed you." He whispered, he didn't expect a response and he didn't get one so he carried on talking. He told her about how everyone had been working hard to find her, he told her about Lindsey and about how Greg had been keeping her occupied with silly games in the den. He chuckled slightly as he told her about Greg using the drapes they had brought for the new house to make a den. He noticed her shift slightly on the bed and rest her hand over her abdomen when he spoke of Lindsey but she still didn't speak or show any other emotion.

He spent the next half an hour telling her everything he could think of, including how much he loved her but he still got no response. He was interrupted by the nurse knocking lightly on the door and walking into the room. "Ms. Willows, it's time."

Lou frowned and looked at the nurse. Time? Time for what?

Whatever it was Catherine seemed to understand and nodded her acceptance, she pushed the blankets down her legs and kicked them off. A light went on in Lou's head and he stood up next to where Catherine's head rested as the nurse prepared the rape kit. Catherine quietly pulled the hospital gown up and bent her knees, almost as if she had become accustomed to this routine.

Lou gently ran his fingers through her hair in a soothing motion; he looked down at her face as the nurse put on her latex gloves and gently parted Catherine's legs. His heart shattered again as he saw the tears slowly marching their way down her cheeks, it was the first emotion she had shown and it hurt him to see her cry.

He leant down and whispered in her ear. "It's okay sweetheart, I'm here."

She closed her eyes and turned her face to the side, her hands bunched up in the crisp white sheets. "I wasn't raped." Her quiet voice whispered to the occupants in the room.

The nurse paused and looked up, Lou gently touched her shoulder.

"Are you sure sweetheart?" He wasn't sure whether she was just saying it to avoid the examination.

Catherine's eyes opened and she addressed the nurse as she spoke."I was taken by a woman, she didn't rape me." She paused briefly, recalling what had happened in captivity. "She examined me and...she...humiliated me but she didn't sexually assault me."

The nurse nodded and removed her gloves, she told them she would speak to an officer and send one in then left the room. Lou's hand slipped down to stroke her arm, his face falling once again as she recoiled from him again. He sighed softly and settled back in the hard plastic chair.

"I'll be right here." He whispered, the only response he received was her rolling onto her side again so her back was to him.

It was going to be a long night.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry for the slow updates guys, I've been super busy and have had a lot on my plate recently. But the busy part has slowed down a little for the time being. **

Lou walked out of the bathroom and into their bedroom; he silently closed the door and looked at Catherine lay in their bed, where she belonged.

The hospital had kept her in for a few days to monitor her and the baby before finally releasing her with instructions to rest and call immediately if anything didn't feel right, they had also given her the number for the resident shrink. Catherine had rolled her eyes when they had arrived home and tossed the number into the trash, when Lou had asked her why she had done that she claimed she knew better shrinks.

In the dim light of the room Lou walked over to the side of the bed and paused. "Is it okay if I sleep in here?"

Catherine's gaze turned from the ceiling to the empty space beside her. Over the past few days she had opened up a little. She didn't recoil from Lou's touches anymore and had even spoken a few times but she still refused to talk about what had happened to her. Lou had tried to coax it out of her, the nurses at the hospital had tried to speak to her, even Brass had asked her questions regarding her time in captivity but each and every time someone broached the subject Catherine would clam up.

Lou waited patiently as Catherine mused over whether she would be comfortable with him in the same bed as her; he watched her face change as she seemed to make a decision. Her eyes raised from the bed to the man stood beside it wearing his blue striped pyjama bottoms and white t-shirt, she watched him carefully for a minute before nodding. Smiling warmly Lou pulled the covers back and climbed into bed beside her; he pulled the covers up to his chest and plumped his pillows up as he tried to get comfy. Catherine looked at him briefly and returned the smile he gave her with a small one before rolling onto her side so her back was to him and curling up.

Lou loved his girlfriend and the distance that her kidnapping had caused was killing him, he just wanted to be close to her again, he wanted things to be back to normal. He wanted to be able to talk properly with her again, to laugh and joke about silly things and to hug and kiss. God, what he wouldn't give for the soft press of her lips against his. Turning his head slightly to the side he looked at the strawberry blonde curls flowing down over her shoulder and made a decision that could either help her or make her kick him out of bed.

Deciding the risk was worth it he rolled onto his side, wrapped his arms around her waist and spooned her from behind. Her body tensed and for a moment he thought she was going to pull away, but she didn't. She didn't snuggle back into him like she used to but she didn't refuse him either.

Stepping the game up Lou gently kissed her shoulder. "I've missed you so much." He whispered in her ear and began peppering her neck with soft kisses.

Catherine closed her eyes against the sensations coursing through her overwrought body. One part of her wanted to turn around and kiss him with every fibre of her being but the other part of her made her want to cry. She knew she didn't deserve him, he was a good man and she was a screw up.

Lou's hands brushed across her abdomen, his fingers brushing the patch of exposed skin between her vest and pants. He felt the slight shiver of her body and smiled, she was enjoying his attentions.

Slowly he rolled her onto her back and after removing his t-shirt he hovered his body above hers, holding himself up on his strong arms. He looked down into her nervous blue eyes and smiled reassuringly, his right hand moved to cup her cheek and his thumb tenderly caressed. She leant into his touch and her hands ran up his arms to grip his biceps. She was going to hell for this but she couldn't help herself, she wanted one more time with him before he hated her.

She whimpered quietly when his soft lips pressed against hers, her eyes closing against the sensation. He was a phenomenal kisser and she never tired of having the pleasure of his lips against hers. Whether it be in a soft declaration of love or an intense, lip bruising kiss of urgency and desire. He could portray so many feelings with his kisses, it sometimes made her dizzy. Like right at this moment, he was kissing her so softly yet with so much passion she knew it was his way of showing her how much he loved her and how scared he had been when she was taken.

But he was blind.

Blind to all her faults. She had been blind to them also, until she had been forced to face them head on.

She felt his lips press against her neck and all thoughts of anything but here and now left her mind. She ran her hands around his back and brushed her fingers down his spine making him groan quietly against her neck, he had always loved the feel of her hands stroking his back in pleasure. He slid his hands down her body and carefully settled himself on top of her, being mindful of the small bump that was their baby. His lips found hers again as his hands began to roam under her vest, she felt his growing erection press and against her thigh and murmured against his lips when it twitched. He was clearly very aroused and wanted her badly. Pulling her lips from his she reached her hand out to the side to turn off the lamp but was halted by Lou's warm hand on hers.

His blue/grey eyes bore into hers with such intensity it made her head swim, she bit her lower lip and flitter her eyes from his intense gaze and back to the lamp.

"Leave it on," he whispered into the quiet room and slowly lowered her hand back onto the bed. "I want to see you."

He smiled softly when her body once again relaxed against the bed, his left hand rested against her hips and his thumb stroked the soft skin between her vest and bottoms. He slowly lowered his face to hers.

"Mommy?"

Lou stopped just short of Catherine's lips and closed his eyes. He loved the little girl as if she were his own and he understood her need to be near her mom but did she really have to choose right now to do it?

He let out the softest of sighs, opened his eyes and rolled off of Catherine, who beckoned her daughter to climb in next to her for a hug.

As she held her daughter in her arms she glanced over at Lou, he was laid on his back with his eyes closed and taking deep, calming breaths. She knew their chance to make love was over; it was probably for the best that they had lost the chance.

Lindsey's head turned to the side to face Lou and rested against her mom's chest. "Lou?" She asked in her quiet, child's voice. She had seen that he was going to kiss her mom and was worried he was mad that she had interrupted.

Opening his eyes Lou turned to the worried girl and plastered a smile on his face. "Yeah honey?"

Blinking her tired eyes in an attempt to stay awake she shifted slightly and mumbled. "Are you and mommy mad at me?"

Reaching his hand over her lightly touched her nose. "Not at all."

He smiled and sat up. Keeping the covers over his lap to avoid any awkward moments he reached for his t-shirt and pulled it back on. Behind him he could hear Lindsey whispering to her mom. When he turned back around Lindsey was curled up in the middle of the bed, she beamed at him and told him that Catherine has said she could sleep there then closed her eyes. Lou smiled softly and lay back down on the bed facing his girls. Catherine had turned the lamp off and was avoiding his gaze.

His brief window of opportunity to get her to open up had been closed.


	13. Chapter 13

**I apologise profusely for not updating this sooner and leaving all you guys waiting. The only explanation for my absence I can offer is that I have been very busy recently, attending events, gigs and other projects ;) **

**My laptop is also against me and only works when it feels like it.**

Lou woke early one morning five days after Catherine's return, he wasn't sure of why he had woken so early but he was wide awake and staring at the ceiling he had spent so many nights studying. So many times he had stared at the blank white canvas and imagined what Catherine had been going through while she was missing. Those few days were the worst of his life. Even now, with her back, he still didn't know what had happened to her in captivity. Nobody did. The police had tried interviewing her to no avail, Brass had even tried techniques normally used on children but Catherine was no fool, she knew what he was up to and had shot him down with one look that spoke louder than any words. She was saying nothing, to no one.

Lou had tried to talk to her, tried to remind her that by not talking she was letting a kidnapper loose. He was trying to speak to the CSI inside of her that devoted her life to catching the bad guys. It was a futile attempt that got him nothing but the cold shoulder.

Hearing pots moving around downstairs brought his attention back to why he had woken up. Sitting up in bed he pushed the covers off his legs and climbed out of bed. He made his way downstairs knowing what he would find and made his way into the kitchen where Catherine was knelt on the floor organising the cupboards. It was becoming a regular thing for her to not be in bed. He had found her cleaning the bathroom, sewing buttons onto his pants and even once weeding the garden. When he'd asked her about it all she had said was that she couldn't sleep and he knew that the reason she couldn't sleep were the nightmares that frequently woke him up when she cried and thrashed around on the bed, even once hitting him in the side of the head during one.

Shuffling his feet so she could hear him coming he made his way over to her and quietly knelt down beside her.

"Need a hand?" His voice was rough with sleep and his hair stood on end in all directions.

Catherine, not acknowledging him, carried on with her task of pulling all the cleaning products out from under the sink and checking the amount left in each bottle. Less than an inch got tossed into a black bin bag. Nodding to himself in answer to a silent question Lou began checking the bottles too. He reached for the window cleaner and shook it, listening for the slosh of fluid inside the bottle. Reaching over Catherine he pushed it inside the bag. Pulling back he heard a soft sniffle, leaning down he tilted his head to get a look at Catherine's downturned face. She was crying. Quickly discarding the bottle he had just picked up her wrapped his arms around her small frame and pulled her against his chest, his big warm hands stroked her small back. She was cold to the touch; he could feel the goose bumps on her pale skin through the thin fabric of her tank. Standing, he brought her up onto unsteady legs and guided her towards the couch.

Reaching the doorway to the living room Catherine dug her heels in and refused to move.

"Outside." Her voice came out in a whisper, a breath of air that barely registered in the big house.

"Sweetheart, you're freezing."

"I want to go outside. Now." He could tell from the tone of her voice and fire in her eyes that there was no arguing. And he didn't want to; he wasn't about to do what her captor had and keep her hostage. If she wanted to go outside then they would go outside but not before her got a thick blanket to wrap around her.

They were sat on the small loveseat, Catherine wrapped in a blanket and hugging herself tightly while staring out at the dark garden, when she spoke up. Her voice was quiet, wavering slightly. "She took me...she wanted the baby..." she paused and took a shuddering breath. Lou dared not speak for worry that she would stop talking. His heart felt like it was lodged in his throat. Her kidnapper had taken her because she wanted their baby, if he ever found the person he would kill them. His murderous thoughts halted when Catherine began speaking once again. "She's one of the moms at Lindsey's school. She told me that I was a crap mom to Lindsey and didn't deserve this child. So she was going to keep it for herself when I had delivered."

She cast her eyes to Lou, tears shimmering on her cheeks. No words needed to be said for Lou to understand that this had been drilled into her head so much that she now believed it herself. Believed that she didn't deserve the child they had created out of their love for one another. He had to prove to her that she was wrong.

Silently he wrapped his arms around her and pressed a tender kiss to the top of her head. "Don't ever think that you are a crap mom. You are brilliant and amazing, Lindsey is a perfect, polite and happy little girl and our baby will be."

He could feel her body shaking with sobs as she clung tightly to the fabric of his thin white tee. He knew there was likely to be more to the story, and he wanted to hear it, but she didn't need to tell it all tonight. Not unless she wanted to.

Something she seemed willing to do. It was like the gates had been opened and everything was pouring out through them. She told him how this woman had made her eat while telling her what she would do to her once the baby was born. She would sit on the steps and watch as Catherine cleaned herself, making sure she was doing it adequately. She told him through floods of tears and embarrassed glances at her hands how she had wet herself because she had been refused toilet privileges. The way the woman had examined her to make sure she was caring for _her_ baby.

Lou's arms had remained around her the whole time despite the urge to throw up while listening to the degrading life, however brief, his girlfriend had endured. If he could go back in time and just have climbed into bed beside her that night instead of sleeping on the couch he would have heard the attack and Catherine wouldn't have had to have gone through all that because he'd have been there to protect her. She wouldn't have to be going through this emotional turmoil now.

They sat for hours following her confession holding each other. By the time they finally moved the sun had risen and Lou's legs had seized up from lack of movement. Catherine turned her head to look at his legs as he stretched them out in front of him.

"When will the house be ready?" She asked, her face turning to look at his.

After he had brought the house they had decided to remain living at Catherine's old place while it was decorated. Lou had agreed it was the best choice at the time but now he could understand Catherine's eagerness to move, he wanted to get out of the place she had been taken as much as she did.

He didn't even have to think about his answer. "Start packing and we'll move tomorrow. Pack the essentials and the rest can be done while we're there."

For the first time since the kidnapping Catherine got the briefest of smiles on her face and pecked his cheek causing a smile of his own. Maybe, just maybe things would be better at the new house.

He hoped they would, he knew there was a long way to go before Catherine would be back to her normal self but perhaps being out of the scene of the incident would help her move on. Perhaps even get some sleep.


End file.
